A lot of times I have felt awkward, not in the sense of feeling awkward with her, but with my self. I can’t seem to be creative enough while playing and at times I don’t know what to do… how to build an exciting game or even how to feel excited. There come times when I feel extremely sleepy inside the playroom. And times where I have just been sick.
I can go on and write a laundry list of excuses of why I haven’t been consistent with Soph’s therapy every day, but truth is that as with everything it all goes back to me and how I have to pick up my self every day no matter the meltdowns, the lack of volunteers, etc. This is my job. And I have to meet my expectations, not other people’s expectations.
What I mean with that is that I put a lot of pressure on my self, thinking she needs to have “changes” or show “improvement” like other kids do, but truth is that every kid “learns” at it’s own pace, and I need to define what “success” means to us. I don’t need the extra pressure. I just have to enjoy her and that’s it.
And sometimes in the middle of those tough moments (a.k.a. meltdowns) when breathing is not enough, just remember to pray, pick up my self and try again “consistently”.